The Pain That Follows

My life’s story. And the pain that follows.

Not a single cloud rolled across the blue. The sun’s rays were boring into my back, tingling where it touched my skin. The air was cool, but my body was still warm from getting out of bed only minutes ago.¬¬¬ I was enjoying the fresh morning breeze as it swept through my hair. I made no sound as I rolled onto my back, feeling the grass tickling the back of my neck. I propped my arms behind my head for support, and closed my heavy eyelids.
A thousand images and questions spun through my mind. It was the main reason for coming out here in the first place. To think. Something I never got enough of. But I only ever seem to be thinking about the same few things lately. Firstly, the one thing, or person in this case, that seems to never leave my mind. Secondly, the biggest freaking assignment you could imagine due next week. The fact that I haven’t started doesn’t help the mountain of stress that follows.
The other things I think about aren’t really that important. Just minor things my brain seems the say when I’m completely out of it. I’m not ashamed to say that that happens quite a lot these days.
For a couple minutes, I lay silently, trying to depict every small sound that came from around me. The main sound that echoed through my ears was the high pitched calls from the birds that I could see, flying in graceful circles around the gum trees. Then there was the hiss of the soft breeze through the trees, sending a cold shiver down my spine.
I don’t know what overcome me. Before I realized it, tears were rolling down my cheeks. The grief I have been feeling lately is just too much. Despite the beautiful morning, I can’t help feeling nothing but a deep sadness cutting away inside me. I don’t know how long I cry for. I check the time on my mobile phone. It’s been at least fifteen minutes.
Once the tears started to slow, I wipe my eyes on my black singlet. Stifling back some pointless sobs, I close my eyelids once more.
I became conscious of yelling sounding in the distance. The more I tried to ignore it, the louder the voices seemed to get. I recognized my little brother, and groaned in disgust at the realization that he had yet another friend over. I covered my ears with my arms, trying to block out the two boys bellowing like retarded howler monkeys. You could sit the boys in a room with everything they would ever want, and they will always find something to fight about.
Then, like a bell ringing in a choir, my mother’s loud screech sent everything into silence. Strangely enough, even the birds seemed to stop squawking. A real gift, I thought.
It was only a matter of minutes before they started up again. My ears seemed to ring with their pointless arguments. I felt my eyes snap open, anger burning like acid in my throat. I got into a kneeling position, ready to scream a line of profanities at the house.
There was a second of the sound of grass being trampled on, and then a mass of white fluff comes racing towards me. It travelled so fast I wondered if it was even real. My arms covered my face for protection, just before a warm, wet tongue was pressed against my arms, trying to get to my face. I rolled backwards, trying to get away from my hyperactive Jack Russell.
After a few seconds of defending my face, the dog ran in wide circles around my frame, its tail wagging in delight.
“Silly puppy,” I cooed, grabbing the dog mid-leap. Nesting her in my lap, I ran my hand down her soft, pink belly. Her body casted a long shadow across the lush grass.  

Maybe one more day. I have too much to live for.<i>